One of my favorite restaurants in my home town of Austin, Texas is El Arroyo. In addition to serving some great Tex-Mex dishes, they are known for this funny little billboard which often includes expressions and jokes which we can all relate to. This week’s sign read “Human Kind. Be Both”. What a great statement, especially now.
Human.
Lately, many people are experiencing some really tough thoughts and feelings. Feelings of depression, fatigue, despair. Being overwhelmed, intense anxiety and fear. This list goes on and on. I get it. This is a really hard time. But what I have to remind myself and others is that we’re human. Of course you’re going to feel some of these feelings! Even prior to the pandemic, some clients of mine would question why they were feeling anxious about something in their lives. Be it a scary thought. A traumatic memory. Worrying if they were going to lose their baby or have to downsize because of failing health. Wondering why breastfeeding is not so easy. Wondering how they are going to pay their rent. It’s natural for we humans to ask why but my job as a psychologist is to remind you that it is okay to “feel all your feels”. Not because it’s the politically correct or trendy thing to say. It’s because we’re human. In fact, one of our most essential core yearnings is to feel. And we humans are not alone with this yearning (notice your fur baby when you interact with them). We all have feelings. The problem is when we humans get stuck with these same uncomfortable feelings or false narratives in our heads and then we act upon them. For example, you may have a harsh inner thought (about yourself or others) and then you act out on this thought in a less than flattering way. This then creates a feedback loop making you feel worse and worse. Ah…but what if we look at the second word on El Arroyo’s sign?
Kind.
Instead of judging yourself for having human feelings, what would happen if you just observed the feeling? Instead of avoiding it, pushing it down or running like hell from it what would happen if you simply acknowledged the feeling? Where does it reside in your body? How does it come out or does it stay in? Being kind to yourself requires no judgment. No harsh words. No criticism. Instead, it’s an opportunity to become aware of your thoughts/feelings and then moving towards thoughts, feelings, concepts and behaviors which matter to you. Beliefs and actions you can take that not only align with your values, but also help you to feel good about yourself and others. If you want to learn more about this, contact me. Remember, you are human. You also have an invitation to be kind to yourself and others. Humankind. Be both.
